Pain and Moving On

Hi Friends,

It's been awhile since I wrote. In case you are wondering, I did manage to survive all my classes. I actually did better than I was anticipating, it's good to know that  hard work can pay off. This is my last winter break ever so I've been celebrating by doing as little as possible and it's going quite well. :)

Going off the date alone, today is a pretty crappy day. It's been exactly one year since I got in my car accident. My plan was to stay off the roads entirely today but I had to get my mantoux read at the doctor's so I had to go out. I'm not normally superstitious but being it's winter and I have enough anxiety driving as it is, I wanted to avoid driving today.  My mom was nice enough to offer to drive me which was a major relief because the roads were still slick. I have a pretty great mom. :)

Today is also a pretty crappy day because today would have been Constance's 19th birthday. I miss her so much. I still think about her every day.

Sometimes when things happen we feel lost and abandoned by God. It's a completely natural thing to feel. The Bible is full of individuals who felt that way. The truth is though that he never leaves us. He is always there. Bad things happen, sometimes really, really bad things, and I can't tell you why because I don't understand. All I know is that God has a greater plan than any human can ever understand. I can see God in every aspect of my life and that is with my degree in biology. No one will convince me otherwise. Even when I don't want to believe, I still believe.

I hate the fact that God allowed my younger sister to feel the way she did, do what she did, and die but I still stand by my original belief that God's hand can be seen in that situation. It's still a struggle at times to move on without her and I wish the pain would leave but at least Constance is at peace now.

I'm going to share something that helps me on the days that are really bad and I hope it may help you.

There is a hymn titled "It is Well With My Soul." If you've never heard it, it is a very beautiful hymn written in the 1800's. From the title, you would think that everything in the author's life is going well but that is far from the case. The song was written by Horatio G. Spafford who was inspired to write it after losing his four daughters in a terrible tragedy. The entire story can be read here if you are interested:  http://voices.yahoo.com/horatio-g-spafford-story-behind-hymn-is-1620793.html

Spafford was a very faithful man who still had tragedy befall him. To sum it up he lost his first son to scarlet fever, he lost most of his investments in the Great Chicago Fire, his four daughters died in an accident, and his second son also died of scarlet fever. Through it all he still kept his faith.

I won't pretend to be anywhere near as faithful as Spafford but I look to his example. Like Job from the Bible, Spafford kept his faith despite the tragedies that befell him. He is a great example of a good and faithful servant. More importantly, Spafford's song and story give me reason to hope. When things are going bad and you feel like God has abandoned you or is punishing you, He's not. He's still there and He has a plan for us, you just have to have faith. Most importantly, the song reminds us of that plan and the peace that comes with knowing that God has a plan for us.

I hope I didn't scare you all away with my blog post today. I'm not sure if it even made sense. I hope it did. My faith is very important to me so please remember that this is my story. If you don't agree with my post, I respect your beliefs so please respect mine.

To keep with the theme of my blog, here are the good things about the last few weeks.

1. I survived the semester.
-Hallelujah! Worst semester ever but it is now over!

2. Reaching out for help.
-It's hard to admit you need help but I finally took the first step. :)

3. Finally getting time to truly relax.
-Thank goodness! :)

Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season! Thank you for reading.

Blessings,

Veronica

RIP Constance, Happy Birthday.

Fieldwork is Over!

Guess what folks? Wednesday officially concluded the end of my pediatric level one fieldwork! Woot woot!

Don't get me wrong. My fieldwork experience wasn't too bad but who doesn't like to finish and be done with something you had to work your butt off at. :P

This has been a week of learning things:

1. You can think you have no idea what you are doing and still get a halfway decent grade on things.
-A wonder of the world. :P

2. All because other people are doing something, doesn't mean you should do it.
-Okay, so we all have learned this one before. I had to teach it to some kindergarteners on Wednesday even but every once in awhile you realize that you are falling into this trap again. Whether everyone's doing it does not make it right or justified and sometimes we need to be reminded of this.

3. You should stay on top of your housework.
-Last week I did, it was great. :) This week I didn't. Now I have a nice pile of dirty dishes and a messy room I need to clean before I can go home in the morning. I much prefer the way I handled my chores last week. :P

4. You know that feeling you get that you should not Facebook stalk the person that you are about to FB stalk? Listen to that feeling.
-Seriously, almost every time I do it I end up sad or angry. Today was no exception. In the words of Coach Carr:  "Just don't do it." :P



Here are the good things of this week:
1. Field Work Is Over!
-It's worth repeating. :P

2. My big treatment plan for peds has been completed.
-Another big project out of the way. :)

My brain has gone blank and I cannot think of anymore but I would say it was a decent week. Now I need to go clean my dishes and take out my trash so that they don't sit gross all weekend and I can start next week fresh.

Thanks for reading. :)

Blessings,
Veronica

Hmmm....

Hey Guys,

My life can kind of be described by today's title because that is the thought that comes to mind most often lately.

For example, why were the children at my fieldwork site off the wall the last two days? Hmmm. Also, today I learned early November first graders do not know how to count by twos. Hmmm. How am I passing my peds class right now? (I feel completely lost in that class.) Hmmm. :P

So I think you get the point.

Here are the good things about the last few days.

1. Only two days left of my level 1 pediatric fieldwork. :)
-Will be one less thing to worry about.

2. Pulled a B on my peds treatment plan 1. :)
-Woot! Now if I can pull a B on treatment plan 2 I will be golden.

3. Caught up on laundry.
-I hadn't did it in like 3 weeks, it was bad. :P

4. Managed to not hit my alarm for a full half hour in the morning and to make my bed everyday this week.
-I've been taking advantage of my body not being adjusted to the new time schedule yet. :)

5. Managing to do my dishes each day.
-A major feat. Now to get off my butt and continue it today. ;)

Thanks for reading. :)

Blessings,

Veronica

I Would Totally Marry Him and Have His Babies

Hi Friends,

So I love, love, love romance novels. They are my not-so-secret strange love. I love how they give you the warm fuzzy feelings as you watch the relationship between the hero and the heroine unfold and when they realize they are in love with each other and finally get together. I don't do dark romance or romance that feels like the author wrote it for the sole purpose of writing sex-scenes, I need happy endings and good story/character development. I am very picky.

So, why am I writing this post? Well, there is a new web series titled, Emma Approved. It's based on Jane Austen's book Emma and it has potential. To help me understand where the story is going, since I haven't read Emma and it's been awhile since I saw the movie, I decided to watch the BBC version of Emma. It is amazing and I am in love with Mr. Knightly. I would totally marry him and have his babies. :P

Emma is written by Jane Austen. Austen is one of my all time favorite authors. She was an amazing author. The more I read her books, the more I like her. My two favorite books by her are Persuasion and Pride and Prejudice. I would totally marry the heroes from those two books as well. :P



Here are the good things of the last few days.

1. Watching BBC version of Emma.
-I enjoyed this version so much better than the version with Gwyneth Paltrow. You can watch it on YouTube if you are interested. :P


2.  Work went well. :)
-Always a good thing. :P

3. Cleaned 80% of my dorm room.
-My room was a disaster area, no where near as bad as my room at home but bad. :P Now it's much better. :) Now, if I could just get my laundry done. ;)

Thanks for reading.

Blessings,

Veronica

Mark It On Your Calendar

Hey Friends,

Mark it on your calendar, I was productive today! You're totally shocked I know. Your shock and excitement will be dimmed, however, when I tell you that one of the things that I did today may or may not have been due last Wednesday. I kind of, sort of, forgot about it until Thursday and when I looked at it it was a lot more complicated than I anticipated so I did what I do best and procrastinated about it (it was already late :P). And the world will go on. :P

I hope you are all doing well. I know I have been really bad about updating my blog. It's been a rough school year so far. Definitely first world problem status for most of it but it's still been tough. It doesn't help that my grandfather passed away at the end of August. I miss him a lot. I used to call him most nights and I will feel like I am forgetting something because I can't call him anymore. His death also caused me to think about my sister, Constance. Even though it's been 1 year 7 months since my sister passed away it still gets to me, especially around the 23 to 26 of each month. It's like my body has it's own internal clock that makes me down and I wonder why until I stop to think about it.

I spent most of September not feeling like myself. I feel more like myself now but there is always room for improvement. I really need to go back to focusing on the positive. My friend asked me why I didn't write anymore and I told her that I just have felt kind of blah so writing about it seemed silly. Maybe that's the problem though. Maybe I should write more often so that I can focus on the positive and maybe I'll stop feeling so blah. :P We can always hope :)

Since I prefer short blog post to both write and read I'll move to the good things of the last few days now.

1. I enjoyed driving home early in the morning Friday.
-I get up at 5:30 to leave by 6am. It's great. Not only do I avoid heavy traffic but I am not exhausted like I am on Thursday evenings. Plus since I get right up and going I don't feel I'm wasting my day away either.

2. Spending time with my siblings offspring.
-This weekend I got to spend time with both my baby niece and my baby nephew. They are getting so big and they are so fun. I much prefer them to anyone elses babies. :P

3. Got my grades for my half semester class.
-Not only is that class done, I reached my at least a B goal. ;)

4. Was productive today.
-An accomplishment in itself. ;)

Thanks for reading.

Blessings,

Veronica

P.S. Michelle, I hope this blog post makes you smile. :)

Like A Rainbow

Hi Friends,

Hope everyone had a good weekend. Mine was pretty good. Not long enough but not too bad.

I have a story that I hope will give you a chuckle. :P

This weekend I was singing Miley Cyrus's new song. I was unaware of the title and just knew the chorus. At least I thought I knew the chorus.

I thought she said "I came out like a rainbow." Aaron quickly interrupted me and informed me that the lyrics are "I came out like a wrecking ball." I laughed so hard I choked on the water I was drinking. :P

Apparently I need my ears checked. :P

BTW, the title of the song is "Wrecking Ball".
Here are the good things from the last few days.

1. Doing better than expected on a paper.

2. Having a said better grade to balance out not so good grade I got on a quiz.
-It was an open book and I still didn't do that well. *Note to self: Peds is not for you* :P I don't care though. Our class mantra is "strive for the B" and I am happy to embrace it. :)

3.  Getting to spend time with my nieces and nephew.

Have a good one! Thanks for reading!

Blessings,

Veronica

Shhhh. I Should Be Doing Homework.

Hi Friends, 

So I should be doing homework but surprise, surprise, that isn't happening. Don't worry, I am well aware of what a poor life decision I am making at the moment and know the consequences of my actions. :P So since I am doing what I do best and procrastinating, I might as well write in my blog that has been neglected for months now. 

It was a hectic summer and has been a hectic school year so I haven't posted but today is as good a time as any right? ;)

So before I run out of steam and neglect blogging for another month here are the good things about my day today so far:

1. Not having to get up for an 8am class. 

-I live on campus and still have a hard time. :P 

2. This conversation: 

Me: Hey, I had a dream I worked for the president.

Mom: That sounds more like a nightmare. 

3. I had to bribe my niece with M&Ms to get her to give me a hug and kiss. 

-This doesn't sound like a good thing but she is one of those children that prefers her independence and is not a big cuddler. She's been sick a lot lately and as a result really cuddly. The fact that I had to bribe her means she is feeling better. 

4. Reading to my niece. 

-Despite her not liking to cuddle, she does like to be read to. I enjoy reading to her. 

5. Finishing a good book. 

-In my procrastination today I finished one of my fun-read books. The story was sweet which always brightens my day a little. 

Thanks for reading. 

Have a great day and hope you are all productive at whatever you need to do. :) 

Blessings, 

Veronica