Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Grad Student Presents with Decreased Cognitive Skills

Hi Friends, 

This semester needs to wrap up before I lose too many more brain cells. Over the past week I have forgotten words, forgotten that Friday exists, forgotten simple math, and mixed up multiple words in sentences. Needless to say my brain is shot. 

Not only am I all mixed up but the weather seems to be as well. For those of you who live in New York this is no surprise but to those who live elsewhere you may not experience the "don't like it, wait five minutes" weather we experience. While yesterday was high 70's beautiful warm sunny weather today was gloomy then rainy then eventually snowy. Not only is it snowing but the snow is sticking. *shakes my head* 

Even as I write this I am having to retype multiple words and sentences due to mix-ups so I'd better cut to today's good things.
1. Class went well.
-I knew what was going on, I stayed awake the whole time, life is good. 

2. Got my laundry done. 
-Hate laundry but the alternative is worse. :P

1. Was productive.
-Not as much as I wanted to be but still was and I think I did relatively quality work. :P 

2. The sun was shining. 

1. The sun was shining. 

2. Went for a fun walk with my friend Melanie. 

1. Was productive. :) 

2. Sun was shining. 

3. Had a fun shopping adventure with Melanie. 

There you have it. Hope it makes sense. Hope your cognitive functioning is higher than mine. 

Thanks for reading. 



Friday, April 11, 2014


Hi Friends,

Sorry about not writing the last few days. I've been busy but on top of that I've felt stuck. If you've ever felt that way you'll know what I mean. It's like you know what you have to get done or want to get done but when you go to do it you just can't bring yourself to do it and end up putting it off again. There is no good explanation for it but it happens. That is how I've felt this week with multiple things.

I hope the rest of you are not feeling stuck and if you are, just know you are not alone.

Here are today's good things:
1. Went to the gym.
-I've been very lazy this week.

2. Finished one assignment completely.
-It's due Monday so that's one less stressor. :)

1. Managed to stay awake through all my classes. :P
-Sad that this is an accomplishment.

2. Lab was really interesting.
-We learned the basics of kinesiotaping which is where you use this special tape to tape the skin in a specific way to help muscles relax or work more effectively. :)

3. Had a fun ice cream and movie date with Melanie.
-We were working on our treatment plan for peds when I got frustrated and asked Melanie if she would like to go buy ice cream and watch a movie. She agreed and we had a lot of fun. :P

1. Got to see the cuties at the Center for Disability Services.
-Love hanging out with those little miracles. :)

2. Went to the gym. :)

3. Finished my two assignments that were due Thursday. :)
-No all nighters this time. :P

1. Went to a Christian bookstore in Latham.
-This store was a lot bigger than the one I went to out in my area. I loved looking at everything and I found some nice stuff. Plus I had some self-control when it came to my purchases. ;)

2. Got a lot of one assignment done.

Hope you have a good weekend!

Thank you for reading.


Monday, April 7, 2014

Oh School

Hi Friends,

So I've realized that the senioritis that I had a senior in college is nothing to my second year grad school-itis I have now. :P Seriously, I'm over it and so is everyone else in my class. When even the diligent students (of which I am not comparatively) are confessing that they are over school you know that it's bad. ;)

Enough belly-aching though. Here are today's good things:
1. Survived my presentation.
-Two of my classmates told me I did a good job so I hope that means I got at least a B but I am glad to have it done with. :)

2. Talking with my friend Melanie.
-After class today we shot the breeze for a few minutes and it was just nice. :)

1. It was sunny. :)

2. My drive back wasn't bad.
-There was relatively little traffic and it was an uneventful drive. ;)

1. Got up and out the door with no problem.
-I'm not a morning person and I always seem to be running out of time even when I plan for extra time. :P

2. Cuddling with kitties. :)

1. Bought super cute dresses.
-If I'm going to spend money on clothes I like to buy dresses. I bought multiple dresses and the ones is super sparkly. Love it.

2. Bought lots of great stuff at the local Christian bookstore.
-I was in love with almost everything in the store. If I had unlimited funds I would have bought more. :P

3. Had a fun time shopping with my mom.
-My mom accompanied me on my shopping adventures. We had fun. :)

Hope you all had a good weekend! Good luck this week!

Thanks for reading.



Thursday, April 3, 2014

Spring, is that really you?

Hi Friends,

I think spring may finally be here. :) Not only is there basically no snow in Troy, it wasn't snowing when I came home. First time in 3 weeks. Woot Woot!

Sorry I haven't written in a few days but I really couldn't think of anything to say. Today is no different so I will just skip to the last few days good things. ;)

1. It really looks like spring. :)
-I know, color me shocked. Maybe just maybe spring is here to stay.

2. The sun was shining. :)

3. Today's classes are over.
-Since I literally could not stay awake in class or lab today (I hate boring videos) this is a good thing. :P

1. The sun was shining. :)

2. Adorable children.
-I love working with special needs children. For our Peds class we were at the Center for Disability Services in Albany and got to work with amazing children. These children are little miracles and are pretty amazing. We get to go back next Wednesday as well. I'm excited. :)

1. No class.
-I do not like my Tuesday class so I was really happy not to have it. :P

2. Was proactive.
-I actually worked on homework ahead of time. I never do that. It was nice to be proactive for once. ;)

Hope you have a good weekend!

Thank you for reading.


Monday, March 31, 2014

Why are we so hard on ourselves?

Hi Friends,

Why are we so hard on ourselves? The only person who really ever expects perfection from ourselves is us. Yes, this is not true 100% of the time but when it comes down to whose opinion matters most, it's our own.

So why are we so hard on ourselves? Why do we expect perfection from ourselves? Do we expect anyone else to be perfect? I certainly don't, so why do I expect myself to be?

I am in counseling and have been for the last month. I should have probably been in counseling way before this but I kept putting it off. Why did I do this? I did this for a number of reasons. I thought I could make it through my troubles on my own. I thought my troubles, which I thought for other people was an acceptable reason to go to counseling, weren't bad enough. I didn't want to admit I wasn't perfect. I was afraid people would judge me. I'm doing alright right this minute, the last few months were just a phase. There are probably other reasons too. I think I came up with every excuse you can think of not to seek counseling.

One of the main things that my counselor is trying to get through to me is for me to be nicer to myself. This is what inspired this post because I'm sure I am not alone out there. This brings me back to my first question: why are we so hard on ourselves?

I wish I had a good answer for that question but I don't. We are only human and are not meant to be perfect. I know this post sounds a lot like like the one I posted on loving your neighbor but I don't think it can be said too much.

You are enough. You are amazing. You were created by a loving God who made you the way you are. We are not all meant to accomplish the same things. If we were the world would never advance, let alone function. We need you to be you and no one else. You are enough.*

We can always better ourselves but that's not the same as not being enough. It doesn't matter if you never keep your new years resolutions or get that A, you are still great because you are you.

Jenny Layton sums it up nicely.
*If you don't believe me check out 1 Corinthians:12 :)

Here are today's good things:
1. Holy Plot Twist
-I watch the online series Emma Approved, a modern day adaptation of Jane Austen's Emma. Today there was a crazy awesome plot twist. I never saw that coming. :P

2. Made myself go to the gym today.
-Exercise helps make my brain chemicals and the rest of my body happy. :)

3. Survived my test today.
-The short answer questions were awful but other than that it didn't seem too bad. Nevertheless, it's done. :P

One final thought that is not my own but I share his or her view ;):

Thank you for reading. 



Sunday, March 30, 2014

Rain Rain Go Away

Hey Friends,

I'm beginning to wonder if spring will ever come. Once again when I was driving home on Thursday it was snowing in Central NY. This confirms my suspicions that Central NY is a godforsaken place (just kidding, well kind of :P). Today it was cold and rainy, the kind of cold and rainy that makes me happy I don't run cross country or track anymore. Hopefully we get some non-winter but also non-cold and non-rainy weather this week.

Since I haven't written in 4 days, am in a damper mood, and should probably get back to studying I will now cut to the good things of the last few days. ;)

1. Got a lot accomplished.
-It's always nice to have a productive day.

2. Actually got to bed before midnight.
-I haven't been very good at this lately and I much prefer not seeing the new day until I get up in the morning. ;)

1. Getting a great welcome.
-It had been two weeks since I had seen my sister and her children. Her children gave me lots of hugs and were genuinely happy to see me. Xander and Amelia's faces brightened when they saw me, Xander cried "Aunt Veronica" and ran and gave me a hug. Amelia, the baby, cried "MaMa" and ran and gave me a hug (she knows I'm Veronica and not mom but we can't get her to call me anything else, trust me, I've tried about everything :P).

2. My doctors appointment went well.
-I hate going to the doctor but my appointment went well and I was out of there in twenty minutes. :)

1. Making children laugh.
-I really enjoy making the girl I work with and her sister smile, the best way I accomplish this is by being silly. This week I sang Bruno Mars "Grenade" very badly and was a runaway horse to accomplish this task. ;)

2. Cuddling with my cat.
-This time it was Natasha. She draped herself over my arm when I was on my computer and purred away. :)

1. Not feeling rushed.
-I ended up oversleeping when I had planned to get up so I could study this morning but I didn't feel rushed and like I'd messed up my whole day by oversleeping. :)

2. Not having to go grocery shopping.
-I like grocery shopping but I don't like doing it every week. It was nice to not have to make any stops between home and school today. :)

Hope you had a good weekend! Have a great week!



Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Two Years

Hello Friends,

Today marks two years since my sister Constance died. My brother Ben said it best when he says it feels like it has been a lot longer.

It's continued to be a rough road to put it bluntly. 2013 was a pretty crappy year, not worse than 2012 by any stretch of the imagination but it was bad. So in addition to continuing to deal with my sister's death, I've had a lot on my plate.

There is a song by Miranda Lambert that I think sums up quite nicely how I feel about my sister's death. Her and her husband wrote and composed it about the passing of his brother.

I wanted to say something great and awe inspiring, not because I want people to think I'm great but because I want to give people hope. I figured it would be something like a quote or a Bible verse but it's not.

I am here today where I am because I get up each day and put one foot in front of the other. Do I sometimes want to give up? Hell yes. Life is hard but life goes on. I've been dealt one awful hand in the last few years and I am still standing. I'm no better than anyone else, there are plenty of other people out there doing the same thing as me. I'm no better than any of you reading this post either. If I can do it, you can do it.

Honestly, I'm not being an annoying cheerleader, I'm speaking from the heart. If I can do it so can you.

To keep with my lent commitment here are today's good things:
1. Finally did my laundry.
-It had been piling up the last few weeks but five loads later and all my clothes are now clean. Many of them are now piled on top of my desk but they are all clean. ;)

2. Washed my dishes.
-We really need dishes that will just wash themselves. ;)

3. Went to the gym.
-That makes it three times in a row this week. First time this semester. :)

4. Made it through today.
-Simple but true. :)

Thank you all for reading. Hope you are all doing well.



RIP Constance